Dear North Korean President Kim Jong-un

So you have nuclear capability. That’s ok, I guess. It shows that you are capable. But remember, never in the Cold War was it used by Russia.

But at any rate, if you’ve got plans of pulverizing everybody, then what’s it going to amount to, if there aint anybody else to rule? As my grade school elementary history teacher taught us – even our poop will be blown to smithereens.

I see you like American Culture, although you loathe their leaders. You even went as far as inviting the alien-looking US basketball star to lunch at your place. That’s good too. But I would like to humbly suggest, from one free man to another (You just might be the only free man in your country, you know, isn’t that something else?).

Keep the warheads. They’re nice toys. But the real war weapon, the might that brings countries to their knees? Globalization.

Corporations rule over nations. China is communist, just like you are, but they are now at par in economic might with the US! Imagine that. Why don’t you have that might? You’re communist too aren’t you? And you’ve got lots of people willing to put in the man hours. The money for buying nuclear capability didn’t come cheap, I presume.

Copy what China is doing. That is how you bring the US to its knees. With tons of money. Not with megatons of nuke.

You know how bad it is outside of your zone? People don’t know that veggies come from tilling land anymore. All they know is to work work work, and then buy from the grocery. Isn’t that simply astounding?

But you know, you can possibly tweak the communism thing a bit, make it Utopian Socialism bit. You know what, it doesn’t matter. Name it after your old man. It’ll sound far better, believe me. Then open trade, and tourism, and you know, you got lots of untapped resources there. Get in cahoots with the South Koreans. They’ve been at it for a while, and the whole entire world loves them!

You don’t have to envy them, you don’t have to be bitter – because you can be better.

Let’s face it, you’re already in the history books. You’re immortal. But the thing is, will you want to be remembered like a modern day Hitler, or like Michael Jordan? Eh? Eh? Nice eh?

If you chose Mike, it’s a tougher road ahead. Because you have to hear what all of the Koreans have to say. Start with yourself. What do you really want? Then, comes the hard part, aside from your people, those who literally worship you, you would need to listen to those who fled from North Korea. Why? Because they are now free people. Free people have different ways of thinking, and that is the beauty of it. You learn something. All of you get something out of it. You can have the biggest share, of course. Try thinking Donald Trump. But, frankly, if you always hear what you want to hear, then it’s a place that’s comfortable for you. Unfortunately, you aint going nowhere with comfortable. Talk to the former North Koreans. Then the South Koreans. See if you can make the Korean Peninsula a better place.

I guess you’ve heard about South Korea’s Immortal General. You can be that, and more. Be an economic superpower. You already have nuclear power. No one questions that. Let’s just keep that under lock and key. Let’s focus on globalization. No one gets pulverized, and you get to dine with entire US basketball teams, if you wish! Who wouldn’t want to go to North Korea where there are nice new forest parks and beaches, never before opened to them? Hollywood will go nuts! Ah, I tell ya. Don’t believe me? Try it. Try it. Try it.

Good day! ( :

About white hair leghorn

witty. charming. extemporaneous.
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