Antsy neighbors

new neighbors are like ants. they take over your house without you knowing it.

Say you move into a neighborhood..

ants send a scout to scour for crumbs..

but people, first they send a scout neighbor..

giving you homemade cookies..

but that’s an Avon lady disguised as a well-meaning neighbor.

If you accept the cookies, then that means you have signed a non-verbal,

completely telepathic, nonrevokable contract that you must buy at least

a lip shiner from her.

And if you were attentive enough, that’s just the scout..

after that comes the cavalry, selling pots, pans (just 35K per set, what A deal!),

curtains, mosquito nets, soundproofed double-paned windows..

the list goes on and on..

and after that scout neighbor leaves, no matter how often you clean your house

and EVEN if you clean the house, they will come back..

it’s their smell on your couch, their leftover candybar on your fridge, their saved game on your console.

it’s their abode, really. and you, you’re just the one who pays the rent.

and that’s a GOODNIGHT, everbody!!!

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This entry was posted in comedy and creativity, Filipino life - for real and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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